The experiences and exploits of a college grad trying to make it in the "real world:" leaving school and friends in New England, moving south, and living with her boyfriend. Watch as I pretend to be an adult.
Ok, so as the title of this post might indicate, a lot went on this weekend. First things first.
On Friday, I headed back south around noon. My Dad needed to pick our truck up from the shop, so I drove him over on my way out of town. We stoped briefly for me to get some gas, and as I pulled up to the pump, he started counting the money in his wallet. He thumbed through a stack of twenties, separated out a few, and then folded a wab of them up and put them in my cup holder. "Here's a hundred and fourty bucks to help with your car repairs." "What?! Dad, I don't want your money. It feels wierd." And then I shoved the money back at him. What the hell was I thinking?! Ah well. I'm earning my own money now, and taking cash from him would have felt like taking a step back. Stupid pride. Always take the money! Always take the money!
Moving on.
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Salvia divinorum is legal, and can be found in most head shops. It's classified as an atypical halucinogen, because it's not an alkaloid (like most halucinogens are). It is actually a relative of common sage- the cooking herb. If you're interested, you can find more information here. I suppose I should give a little background here, and mention that our neighbors are huge druggies. One of them prides himself on being a psychonaut (rolls eyes). Anyway, Elija has been hanging out with them whenever I'm away, and unbeknownst to me, tried Salvia while I was in Virginia. Also unbeknownst to me, he went out yesterday while I was shopping, and purchased some from our local head shop. We spent most of Saturday doing our own things- I spent most of the day looking for work clothes, and he spent most of the day on campus working on a project. We had dinner, and then went out to listen to a jazz trio playing at a local coffee shop. When we got home, Elija hinted that he might want to try Salvia (of course, not mentioning that he had tried it, or that he had a stash). After we talked about it, and he showed me some research, he finally admitted he'd tried it. I agreed that it sounded pretty cool, and indicated I'd be willing to try it sometime. Elija then finally mentioned he had some, so we retired to the office, turned down the lights, and got the necessary equipment. So, about the Salvia experience. Honestly, its hard to even describe. It's nothing like pot, first of all. You can get it in a variety of forms, we smoked a 10X compound- it was a solution of ten times the strength of natural leaf extract redeposited on plant matter (mostly leaves) so you can smoke it. We used your typical glass pipe, but really, anything you can smoke pot with, you can smoke salvia with. You light it, breath in the smoke, and hold it as long as posible, again, just like pot. This is where the similarity ends. Salvia hits you almost immediately. Seriously, put the pipe and lighter down before you exhale, because the second you do (assuming you got a strong enough dose), you're going to completely loose touch with reality. The first time I smoked, I was intensely aware of my jaw muscles and tongue for the first couple seconds. This feeling faded, and as it did, so did my sense of reality. I felt like I was flipping through multiple timelines. In each of them, I was sitting with Elija in our office, but instead of seconds ticking by, realities did. Nothing was really different in any of them- I was always "me" and Elija was always "Elija." We were doing the same thing in each, but there was definately a feeling of "differentness." At one point, I felt like there was an old 'earth mother' type woman on my right, which was a really reassuring presence. Gradually, after about eight or nine minutes, the feeling of flipping realities slowed (think a roulette wheel slowing down), and as it did, I started to feel annoyed that it hadn't stopped already- largely because I would start to get "into" one reality only to have it switch on me. I felt like I said "Ok...time for this to end!" to Elija at least three or four times, but he assured me I only said it once. (I should interject here that when I smoked, he stayed sober and vice versa... you know, to babysit). This only added to the feeling that I was living my life on multiple planes. My second trip was much less interesting. At first I smoked too little, and only experienced a mild feeling of dissociation. I smoked a bit more, and this time experienced some of the disorientation I had the first time, but not to the same extent. I felt as though I was pulsing in and out of "this" reality to a rythmic, regular beat. I couldn't figure out what it was though, until I managed to focus on the fan in the room. I turned towards it, pointed at it, and exclaimed "THAT'S what I'm vibrating in time to- the fan!!" Needless to say, Elija thought this was hilarious. There was a bit of an afterglow, but not like that of pot or alcohol. After that wore off, I was a bit headachey, and definately ready for bed.
In general I really enjoyed the experience. It was definately more intense than anything I've tried before, but the trip is very very short. The feeling of flipping through realities was fascinating, and it's definately something I'd like to explore further.
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So, given the first part of the section about Salvia you might have an idea why I threatened to break up with Elija. Unlike me, Elija was not ready for bed after we finished playing with Salvia, and went to hang out with our neighbors for a while after I went to bed. Two hours later, he came back, and spent the next hour tossing and turning- and keeping me up. This gave me ample time to think about the fact that he had tried a drug and then gone out and bought some of it without even telling me. We've had some issues with his inability to communicate this month, and I've spoken to him a number of times about it. Drugs and alcohol have always been a sensitive area with me, the result of growing up with my mom. Taking them is fine, but taking them to excess, or hiding the fact that you take them is sure to set me off. It just really freaks me out, and that's something I was really upfront about when Elija and I started dating. So, this morning, I ripped into him about doing drugs and not telling me, and then even worse, going out, buying some, and bringing it into the apartment we share without giving me a heads up. He apologized, we cried, and I told him that if he EVER brings drugs into the apartment without consulting me again, I'll pack my bags and leave. And I mean it. When he did that, it shifted from a "communication" issue to a "trust" issue, and I refuse to be in a relationship with someone I don't trust. All is well now, we spent the day making up, I'm happy to say...but it was definately a doozy of a weekend.
After 22 posted at 6:44 PM
